An Urban (love) Legend

“So you’ll never guess who’s getting married.” My sister exclaimed as we headed for Stew Leonard’s (Think a farm fresh version of Costco). “Who?” My cousin replied. “David!” My sister replied. “No way!, my cousin said, to whom?” “Remember that crazy night we had in the city back in October? The one where David ditched us for that blonde with the ridiculous boots?” my sister asked. My cousin drew in a deep breath “OMG!, she exclaimed, those tacky pleather snakeskin boots? And wasn’t she wearing a matching dress….wait! He’s marrying her?!” “Yup!” my sister said. “I totally thought that was a one night stand!” my cousin said. “Well I’m sure it started out that way…..my sister said. “Wait, wait, wait!, I exclaimed, so you’re saying, your friend had a one night stand? And now he’s going to marry her?? Yeah, I’ve heard that one before; it’s the relationship urban legend. Girl goes home with guy one drunken night, next thing you know; she’s sporting a 5 carrot ring. Notice how it always happens to a friend of a friend?” “But we actually know this guy Mar, my sister said, it’s totally happening.” “Please, I said returning to my trivia game, it never happens.” But then it occurred to me, I actually know someone who met their husband that way! And I was actually there when it happened! The scene: a dark, almost creepy bar. The crew: Two women (myself and the aforementioned friend) and two gay men. The guy: Tall, dark and snarky. He sauntered up to us and said something quippy. (I honestly couldn’t tell you what it was as I was betraying my pinstripe loyalty by cozing up to a former Red Sox). Whatever he said, it was obvious he was into Christina. So after (quite) a few drinks we were shoed out into the foggy night where Gene, Wes, and I got a cab and headed for the beach (We were roommates living in a beach house in San Francisco) while Christina took Nate up on his offer of a nightcap. Well, I thought after Christina assuring me she was fine and she really wanted to spend the night with him, this will become an interesting story, and boy was I right; A year later they are happily living in Texas. Wow! Dreams do come true. So there you have it. Christina and Mr. Big (Nate’s a hedge fund manager). My sister’s friend David and his snakeskin hottie. And me. Hanging out on the sidelines.

Surviving the Landminds

A message from a very close friend saw an already emotional evening descend into a blizzard of melancholy, anger, and confusion. Marlena and her husband have been trying for years to have a child, resulting in several miscarriages. In May they finally conceived and their angel Alexander was born on January 5th, 2015. Unfortunately, Alexander was born with Potter's Syndrome and lived less than a minute after birth. Upon hearing this news I became physically sick and dissolved into a torrent of tears (Which I think I’d been holding back all week). My heart is beyond crushed over this tragedy. Marlena is an incredibly kind, sweet, generous, all around wonderful person; I literally cannot think of a person less deserving of this tragedy (Not that anyone is deserving). And why I'm beside myself with grief over Marlena's loss it's made all the more heart wrenching by thoughts of my own reproductive future. I suffered a miscarriage of my own back in April and am now very preoccupied with pregnancy stats for older women (I'm 32 but high risk pregnancies start at 35 as previously mentioned I’m divorced) and the likelihood of future miscarriages. It never occurred to me that if I carried a child to term I'd lose them to the myriad of genetic disorders out there (Of course, it was promptly added to my list of things to worry about). Now, I in no way want to claim Marlena's tragedy and grief for my own but I honestly can't help drawing parallels. I feel like I am trying so hard to 'right the ship' so to speak, to fix my life but the more I try to plan, the more I'm reminded that I can't plan for everything and while I know that this is just how it goes I find it very difficult to deal with.